Sunday 19 February 2012
Friday 17 February 2012
Karaoke Crew
John had heard a rumour that someone who attended the Sunday afternoon karaoke session could do with a bit more practice. He turned up early to get a good seat, but when he arrived the club was practically empty. Gradually a crowd built up in the corner by the bar.
The DJ, a happy fellow, was set up and ready to go playing a few tunes. "Come on, who will be first?" he said over the microphone. The crowd in the corner where all enjoying themselves, when the first singer from the crowd went over to sing. Everyone clapped and cheered as he stood and sang "That's Life".
"Very good," thought John, "he doesn’t even need the words."
Next was a lady with a very distinctive voice belting out "Mustang Sally".
"Well, it certainly wasn’t these two that needed practice."
As John sat there he looked around the room, there was an older man in a beige cromby that seemed to be offering people advice on their song choices. The next man that sang "Blue Berry Hill" was what John referred to as a one trick pony. The next woman to sing had a resemblance to Tina Turner, the way she walked up to the mic but hearsay was that she had recently had surgery, as she started to sing a song John had never heard before, a small woman with highlights jumped onto the snooker table and started thrusting her body to the words of "We're Having a Gang Bang" being sung. As John looked on amazed he wasn’t sure if this was a code message for the crowd in the corner as he had already noticed a few bottoms being pinched. Next up was a middle aged man who must have left his skull cap at home as he gyrated to "The Wonder of Jews". As he sang and wiggled a woman ran from the crowd and smothered him in kisses, it was a lucky escape when the music stopped. A young girl was called over, apparently she only attended on special occasions, she had quite a pleasant voice, but John couldn’t help remembering Mrs Overall from Acorn Antiques as she wobbled on her high heels across the club.
John thought he had wasted his time, he saw the man in the cromby go up and whisper to the DJ and a short blonde woman was called up and she murdered a Patsy Cline song. This was the one who needed practice, he was sure of it; he had never been so sure of anything in his life. He could offer no help. He went to the bar and ordered a large whiskey and spoke to the barmaid. He needed another large one when she told him he only had to wait four weeks until they did it all again.
The DJ, a happy fellow, was set up and ready to go playing a few tunes. "Come on, who will be first?" he said over the microphone. The crowd in the corner where all enjoying themselves, when the first singer from the crowd went over to sing. Everyone clapped and cheered as he stood and sang "That's Life".
"Very good," thought John, "he doesn’t even need the words."
Next was a lady with a very distinctive voice belting out "Mustang Sally".
"Well, it certainly wasn’t these two that needed practice."
As John sat there he looked around the room, there was an older man in a beige cromby that seemed to be offering people advice on their song choices. The next man that sang "Blue Berry Hill" was what John referred to as a one trick pony. The next woman to sing had a resemblance to Tina Turner, the way she walked up to the mic but hearsay was that she had recently had surgery, as she started to sing a song John had never heard before, a small woman with highlights jumped onto the snooker table and started thrusting her body to the words of "We're Having a Gang Bang" being sung. As John looked on amazed he wasn’t sure if this was a code message for the crowd in the corner as he had already noticed a few bottoms being pinched. Next up was a middle aged man who must have left his skull cap at home as he gyrated to "The Wonder of Jews". As he sang and wiggled a woman ran from the crowd and smothered him in kisses, it was a lucky escape when the music stopped. A young girl was called over, apparently she only attended on special occasions, she had quite a pleasant voice, but John couldn’t help remembering Mrs Overall from Acorn Antiques as she wobbled on her high heels across the club.
John thought he had wasted his time, he saw the man in the cromby go up and whisper to the DJ and a short blonde woman was called up and she murdered a Patsy Cline song. This was the one who needed practice, he was sure of it; he had never been so sure of anything in his life. He could offer no help. He went to the bar and ordered a large whiskey and spoke to the barmaid. He needed another large one when she told him he only had to wait four weeks until they did it all again.
Wednesday 8 February 2012
Sod the Snow!
After an afternoon out at the karaoke, with all of the best singers. we were nearly home, as we entered the alley, BANG! i fell straight on my back and smacked my head on the pavement. There i was, spread eagle in the alley way with my husband crouched over me sliding everywhere, trying to pick me up. Any onlookers would have wondered what we were up to. i have had a headache for three days. when my son came home crying yesterday, he had fallen backwards over a fence and landed with a concrete post between his legs. He is now laying on the setee with bruised bits. Then this morning my husband slipped outside, putting his shoulder out. Roll on the summer!!
Monday 6 February 2012
The Only Way is Stratford
The war babies that grew up having to wear each other’s under wear ,
that had slept four in a bed with no glass in the window were now the smart set
of the sixties with their tailor made suits, crisp white shirts and polished shoes. Most people had a car that they looked after with pride washing and polishing ready for the weekend.
that had slept four in a bed with no glass in the window were now the smart set
of the sixties with their tailor made suits, crisp white shirts and polished shoes. Most people had a car that they looked after with pride washing and polishing ready for the weekend.
Our Saturday afternoons were taken up visiting our Nan and granddad
who still lived in the east end of London in the same house were my dad
had grown up. Every Saturday my sister and I were ready to go with
matching outfits that had been made by my mum shiny shoes and new coats.
After the short drive we would arrive at my nan’s parking around the corner
and then as we approached her block of maisonettes we would have to hide behind the wall while my dad went and did the special knock on the door ,
this was because nobody wanted to open the door to aunt Mary . The special
knock was done the door would open and we would be whistled from behind
the wall once inside only to see aunt Mary already sitting in the armchair
smoking two cigarettes at once . She lived in the local mental institution and
every Saturday would climb over the wall jump on the bus and arrive at my
nan’s to join in the fun, her tights ripped from coming over the wall, bright
red lipstick and a woollen dress even in the summer. Mary had been put in
the home by her husband because of postnatal depression and just stayed there
for the rest of her life.
who still lived in the east end of London in the same house were my dad
had grown up. Every Saturday my sister and I were ready to go with
matching outfits that had been made by my mum shiny shoes and new coats.
After the short drive we would arrive at my nan’s parking around the corner
and then as we approached her block of maisonettes we would have to hide behind the wall while my dad went and did the special knock on the door ,
this was because nobody wanted to open the door to aunt Mary . The special
knock was done the door would open and we would be whistled from behind
the wall once inside only to see aunt Mary already sitting in the armchair
smoking two cigarettes at once . She lived in the local mental institution and
every Saturday would climb over the wall jump on the bus and arrive at my
nan’s to join in the fun, her tights ripped from coming over the wall, bright
red lipstick and a woollen dress even in the summer. Mary had been put in
the home by her husband because of postnatal depression and just stayed there
for the rest of her life.
The room was full of other aunties and uncles each and every one a character,
we had singers dancers comedians and all the cousins ready to join in the afternoons fun. We would all walk along to the local club for a few hours and then all walk back
again a few hours later all singing and laughing , the settee would be pushed back to make way for the tap dancers all taking turns to do
their best James Cagney or gene Kelly running and tipping the armchair over
as they danced of the other side, then would come Al Jolson impersonators
one after another while Des O’Conner played on the record player and the television would be on for the horse racing . It was brilliant bedlam, ten grandchildren squashed on a three seater settee watching all the grown ups enjoying themselves a room full of stars. we had Marylyn Monroe ,Mitzi Gaynor ,Dean Martin ,Adam Faith , Dusty Springfield, Ginger Rogers and
Mr Gable by early evening when every one had had enough my dad would
take aunt Mary back but she would always go in through the front door
as she was also a star. This would be the norm fifty two weeks a year and
on Christmas and birthday’s we would really live it up.
we had singers dancers comedians and all the cousins ready to join in the afternoons fun. We would all walk along to the local club for a few hours and then all walk back
again a few hours later all singing and laughing , the settee would be pushed back to make way for the tap dancers all taking turns to do
their best James Cagney or gene Kelly running and tipping the armchair over
as they danced of the other side, then would come Al Jolson impersonators
one after another while Des O’Conner played on the record player and the television would be on for the horse racing . It was brilliant bedlam, ten grandchildren squashed on a three seater settee watching all the grown ups enjoying themselves a room full of stars. we had Marylyn Monroe ,Mitzi Gaynor ,Dean Martin ,Adam Faith , Dusty Springfield, Ginger Rogers and
Mr Gable by early evening when every one had had enough my dad would
take aunt Mary back but she would always go in through the front door
as she was also a star. This would be the norm fifty two weeks a year and
on Christmas and birthday’s we would really live it up.
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